Yo! The markets basically pulled a "hold my beer" moment this week. While everyone was doom-scrolling about inflation and getting spooked by every Fed whisper, the markets said "nah fam" and decided to moon anyway.
The scoreboard:
Dow: +1.7% (and hit its first record of the year like a boss)
S&P 500: +0.9% (steady Eddie vibes)
Nasdaq: +0.8% (wobbled but didn't fall)
So what actually happened? Buckle up, buttercup, we're about to spill the tea ☕
The Main Plot Lines 📺
Buffett strikes again (and the Dow goes brrr)
Uncle Warren dropped $1.6B on UnitedHealth like it was pocket change, and UHG absolutely sent it up double digits. The Dow rode that wave straight to record territory while tech stocks were busy having an existential crisis.
Consumers be confusing
July retail sales came in at +0.5% (not bad!), but consumer sentiment dropped faster than your ex's DMs. Translation: people are still spending but feeling kinda meh about it. Mixed signals much? 🤷♀️
Tech rotation season is here
Applied Materials got absolutely rekt (down 10%+) after serving up some weak sauce guidance. Meanwhile, money started flowing into the unloved kids: solar, healthcare, small caps, and airlines. It's giving "I'm not like other sectors, I'm a cool sector" energy.
Geopolitics stayed spicy (but not nuclear)
US-Russia had a meeting that basically ended with "we're still mad but whatever," and markets took that as a W. Some semiconductor tariff chatter had chip stocks sweating, but Intel rallied on hopes of getting that sweet government sugar.
Fed Watch: Jackson Hole is About to Be LIT 🔥
Real talk: the September rate cut odds are looking shakier than your WiFi during a Zoom call. Inflation's still being annoying, so Wall Street is starting to pump the brakes on their "Fed pivot" fantasies.
All eyes are on Powell's Jackson Hole speech next week. This dude could literally move markets with a single eyebrow raise. Will he go full hawkish dad mode or throw us a dovish bone? The suspense is killing us.
What's Cooking Next Week 👀
Powell speaks at Jackson Hole → This is the main event. If he even hints at "higher for longer," yields are going to the moon, and stocks might cry.
Retail earnings explosion → Walmart, Target, and Home Depot are about to spill whether consumers are actually broke or just vibing differently.
Tariff drama continues → The semiconductor tariff soap opera isn't going anywhere. Expect more chip stock whiplash.
Rotation test → Will the "anyone but mega-cap tech" trend stick, or are we about to see the return of the kings?
The Vibe Check ✨
This week was basically markets playing 4D chess while blindfolded. The Dow flexed, the S&P stayed solid, and the Nasdaq did that thing where it trips but pretends it was totally on purpose.
Everyone's trying to figure out if we're in a new paradigm or just having a really confusing moment. Either way, next week's Powell + earnings combo is going to be more intense than a Netflix series finale.
Not financial advice, just vibes and market tea. DYOR and don't YOLO your rent money.